


Beyond This Moment

by starryeyedust



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28836024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedust/pseuds/starryeyedust
Summary: Two workaholics take a little time off together.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Beyond This Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few things. The inspiration for this short fic actually came from a redditships post, though how I wrote 4k words based off this is beyond me: https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1350914349129478149 Also, being bi means I would like to eventually include Meg in a fic, if I were to write another one. Zag is my favorite bi icon. Finally, full disclosure that it's been six years since I've been able to sit down and write anything at all, so I'm rusty and I'm sure it shows. But hopefully you'll enjoy this incredibly fluffy fic.

** Zagreus **

Another run through the Underworld done. That first breath of fresh air as I climbed out of the river of Styx never changes. It always feels like breathing for the first time in my life, like I’m just discovering oxygen then and there. I grabbed a towel to mop myself up as I took off my top too, not before taking off the keepsake Thanatos gave me and pocketing it. Mother suggested I should try to use these towels since I spent the gems on having them placed here, and I figured she was right. This last run was also rough, what a few more butterfly balls than I would’ve liked tearing me and my clothes up. Towel draped on my shoulders, I noticed Father wasn’t back yet. He doesn’t hate our fights, I think. If anything, I felt like our fights were his way of spending time with me, as though he was learning what kind of man I was each time through our blows and swings. He sometimes even makes jokes now in between.

I don’t think we’ll ever have a normal father-son relationship, but on the other hand, I don’t think many of my Olympian cousins have that either. Thanatos and Hypnos don’t even have a father. Things have improved between Father and I, though. And I’ll take this over Father letting out all his anger over Mother leaving on me. Walking past Hypnos, fast asleep in his chair, I remembered Than wanted to hang out when I got back. He asked when he popped in to help me out in Elysium, said he’d have a few hours free. And I gladly took any opportunity I could to spend time with him, so of course I said yes. Mother was off in her garden; I saw her silhouette there before walking towards the west hallway. Cerberus was back, sleeping soundly next to his play toys, and I could already see that Achilles was not standing around his usual spot in the west wing. I wasn’t sure if he’d like that big mirror I put behind him, but thankfully it seemed to amuse him at least.

Thinking of Achilles still, I remembered our last conversation. Always observant, always a wise teacher to myself as well as Than when we were growing up, but I didn’t expect him to comment on…whatever it is that I have going on with Than. “I think he cares for you more deeply than you know.” I walked towards the end of the west hallway, and having the comfort of being alone, allowed myself to collapse on one of the chairs I’d gifted Than. _I keep pushing myself too hard_ , I thought to myself. Bones aching and muscles burning, my eyes shut for a moment. Did Than care about me all that much? I thought back to that first time he showed up to help me. He sounded…I don’t know. Angry? Disappointed? Sad? And I wasn’t happy myself. This was my fight. I wasn’t a child anymore. I didn’t need Than to pick me up from the ground like when we were younger, having been bested by him again.

But only now in retrospect did it all come together. Than just didn’t want me to leave home. To leave him. Because maybe he thought that I’d never come back if I made it to the surface. And only over time, as I kept giving him gifts and talking to him every chance I got after every failed attempt to escape, did I feel his resentment ease up. Him showing up started to feel less like him doing Nyx a very big favor, and more like he wanted to just lend me a hand. And after my first attempt trying to make it out of Elysium, I got over myself very quickly. So, our contests started feeling more lighthearted, more like our childhood spars then either of us venting our pent-up frustrations. Even though I knew he liked competing with me, he also never seemed like a sore loser when he lost. I started hearing pride in his voice, and that just made me try even harder.

Achilles told him I shouldn’t give Than the wrong impression. But I don’t even know what impression I want to give off anymore. What is he to me? It’s been a little bit since Than had asked me, and I still didn’t know how to answer him. I told him in Elysium that I welcomed his appearances on my runs. Was it only that though? I didn’t know, and suddenly a fight with another butterfly ball didn’t sound too bad.

“Been waiting long?”

** Thanatos **

I dumped the last bit of this latest nectar bottle Zag gave me down my throat, needing another slap to the face. _What an absolute idiot._ But an idiot that, despite being the son of Hades and Prince of the Underworld, didn’t have a fiber of hate in himself. An idiot that outstretched a hand easily to anyone that needed help. An idiot with a smile and cheerful attitude no matter how many times he falls down and fails. He was charming to everyone, I’m sure. I didn’t think I was that special to be in his good graces. But even as I gave him a cold shoulder icier than even Demeter’s winter, he showed no sign of easing up with me or of treating me any different. If anything, that made him try harder.

I looked over to the seat next to me. Achilles was already passed out, empty nectar bottles next to his head lying peacefully on the counter. I was thankful that he seemed to be the most levelheaded person in this entire House, despite being a shade. Because I certainly didn’t hold back once we started, uhh, _disposing_ of this stuff. What didn’t I say about Zag? Most of it probably sounded like hate flirting. _His stupid smile in our last little contest when he beat me by a mile and gave me another gift too, not even thinking about it too hard._ But what was the point in me even pretending at this point? Especially since Zag was going to be staying here now, though he didn’t quite explain to me why. I knew it was because the Queen returned, but it still didn’t make much sense how he got back here.

Usually, my silence is something of a trademark of mine, so no doubt Achilles was surprised with how much I had to say about this one particular idiot man I’ve come to like a little too much. Zag and I grew up together, and despite not being very fond of him at first, I grew to cherish him. I used to be able to easily beat him in our sparring practice under Achilles’s eyes, until one day I couldn’t. This boy became very strong in a heartbeat, stronger than me, and yet I still wanted to help him. At first it was only because Mother asked me to. Because I don’t have words to describe how angry I felt when I realized that he was gone the first time he tried to leave. I didn’t understand. Why would he leave this House? Why would he leave me?

Once, when we were only just a little younger than we are now, he came running up to me, carrying a big bag of I didn’t know what. With that charming smile of his, he dug in and gave me a pomegranate, said I was working too hard and that we should take a break together. I almost said no, but seeing his face, I hesitated. How could this one person have such little hate in him? So I smiled and we sat down and ate. I let him do all the talking for the most part, let him rant about how his father didn’t teach him how to do his job very well, how much he disliked just sitting at a desk when he could be practicing with Achilles. Which I can’t say I disagreed with, knowing how strong he was and how talented he’d become with his blade.

His leaving wasn’t exactly shocking to me, I think. It just hurt. But I understood after a little while. And as usual, it was difficult to stay angry at him for long, especially as he continued to give me gifts and be as kind and charming as ever. After a while, I was helping him because I wanted excuses to see him, not because Mother asked me. And I didn’t mind him beating me in our contests because I already knew he was strong. If anything, it made me proud to see him still improving. And I don’t know what came over me, but this last time seeing him in Elysium, I asked if he wanted to just hang out and spend time with together. Even more surprising, he said yes. I didn’t think he would, considering how I pushed him a little bit asking what I was to him. But here I was now, drinking to shake off the nerves and hoping I hadn’t made a colossal mistake.

I heard some footsteps out in the hallway. The slight sizzle in the steps told me that Zagreus had returned. I left a butterfly note of thanks next to Achilles. Gods know he really didn’t have to hear me ramble while slightly drunk about the man I found incredibly attractive and stupid. I got up from my seat, saw his shadow as he turned towards the west hallway, probably towards the spot where I basically lived in at this point, at least in between work. Recently he’d paid probably a considerable number of gems to have it furnished. I wasn’t sure how to thank him yet, because I felt that just saying the words wasn’t enough. _Alright, here goes nothing_.

To my surprise, Zag was sitting on one of the two chairs he had paid to have made for me, eyes closed and top gone. He still had a little bit of the River Styx dripping off his body. And holy shit. I knew that I had feelings for him, but I don’t think I’d stopped to realize just how stupidly perfect he was. Arms chiseled by the gods, chest gleaning with sweat and scars that would heal up with some fountain water, his dark and messy hair framing the face that I found myself daydreaming about a little too much when I was out fetching mortals about to die. Very rarely did he ever seem to rest or sleep, but here he was, more relaxed than I’d seen him in a long time, as though he was in his own bed. He didn’t even stir as I made my way there. Usually, he’s very acutely aware of my presence, even though I made no footsteps.

I cleared my throat as I sat down next to him. Zag’s eyes flew open and darted towards me. I couldn’t help letting a small smile show as he quickly ripped his towel from his shoulders to dry up.

“Been waiting long?”

****

** Zagreus **

_How did he-_ I didn’t even notice Than’s presence! And I hadn’t cleaned up yet or gotten a new shirt. I hadn’t even gone to a fountain to heal up these damn wounds those butterflies left on me. I was all of the mess and none of the hot right now.

“Oh! Wow Than, I’m so sorry! I guess I’m just a little bit tired, I didn’t even notice you were here!” I’ve got to be honest, it had been a while since I’ve felt this out of sorts.

“Don’t hurry on my account. I told you I’d be free for a few hours, and you look tired.” He looked me up and down, pausing for only a fraction of a second that no one else would’ve been able to notice. “I’m glad I could help you in Elysium. You never seem to do well against those butterfly balls.”

“Tsch. Don’t remind me.” I’ve gotten stronger and a lot better over time but damn if I didn’t hate those butterflies still.

“Hey, let’s sit on that nice expensive bed you bought me.” I looked to the side. _Oh yeah._

“I like the sound of that.” I stood up and collapsed on the bed in more or less the same movement. 31 runs in a row seem to be taking its toll on me, and I hadn’t wanted anyone to see me this tired, especially not Than. Too late for that I suppose. “Say Than, I uh don’t really get a chance to go too far past the gates onto the surface, so I don’t really know. But are there butterfly balls on the surface too?”

Than settled himself down next to me. “No, but there are butterflies, up there where the mortals are.”

“But how do they fend them off? Butterflies pretty dangerous to be around down here.” I was very confused.

He laughed a little bit. “Well for one, they’re not dripping in pink acid goo, and for another, they don’t spawn from pink goo balls that have to be destroyed immediately. So mortals usually do just fine.” He laid back on the wall. “They come in different colors, and different patterns too, on the wings. I’ll have to catch one to show you one of these days.”

The idea that mortals were so lucky as to have butterflies that couldn’t immediately murder them was still too perplexing to me. But I’d have to take Than’s word for it for now. If anyone would know about butterflies, it’d be him. His keepsake was in my pocket still, after all.

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind all these furnishings here,” I said. “You’re usually in this spot of the House, and I uh figured maybe some seats and a bed would be nice.”

“I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to buy these for myself,” Than replied, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I like them all the same.”

I smiled. “Good, because I’m not removing them unless you tell me to.” I could feel myself nodding off again, but I tried to resist. Before I could shake myself awake though, I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder, gently nudging my weary head on top of Than’s shoulder. _Oh._

“So let me ask you then Zagreus. Why can’t you stay on the surface for long? I figured you were here to stay because the Queen is back, but it seems that I’m wrong?”

I hesitated, possibly for a moment, possibly for an hour, I couldn’t really tell. The feeling of his arm around me was far more distracting than even Aphrodite’s form and figure. Maybe I was just that tired, or maybe I enjoyed this warmth. It was a different kind of warmth compared to when we were growing up. Sometimes he’d come find me after Father had been particularly angry at me, in a corner where my Infernal Arms currently rest trying not to cry. He’d sit down next time, arm around me, and would just stay there till I could find words again. For all my chattiness, I always loved Than’s silence. It was silence with weight to it, a weight that I found to be like a sigh of relief. But now this felt more like drinking water after being thirsty for a long time, almost like I needed this.

Would that I could keep us here all day and night and all eternity.

“Zag?”

I jumped a little bit. “Oh, sorry mate, I kind of let my mind wander a little bit.” I shifted a little bit, putting my arm around his chest now. “I just can’t live on the surface. Something to do with being born to Father in the Underworld, or how my being born was an act of defiance against the Fates. The farther I move away from the gates, the weaker I get till the Styx claims me back.” This felt relaxing. _Gods I hope Meg doesn’t see this._ She certainly would have a field day the next time I ran into her in Tartarus.

“I see.” I could feel his chest rise up and down in a heavy sigh. He seemed both relieved and also perhaps a little sad? “So, all those times I’d seen your soul going down the river, after the first time you escaped, it wasn’t because you couldn’t make it out.”

“Basically, yes.” Then, suddenly, I felt his hand move from my side to my head. Slowly but surely, he began to softly play with my hair.

_Well, there goes my heart._

** Thanatos **

I wasn’t thinking about it too hard, really. Maybe that nectar was more relaxing than I anticipated, or maybe venting to Achilles took the edge off my feelings. But here I was now. I just found my hands doing these things on their own accord, like it was just a natural thing for them to do. And I surprised myself with how soft Zag’s hair felt. It dried off pretty quick once he had mopped himself up. It felt like this plush throw on my bed lounge, but more satisfying. It was also a welcome distraction from the sudden pain in the gut I felt. I’d been content to let myself think that he wanted to return and stay for good. But it never crossed my mind that there could’ve been a reason he couldn’t stay on the surface. I just assumed he was like any other Chthonic god.

“Would you-”

“Yes. I would have returned for good. My intent wasn’t to escape the Underworld. It was to find Mother.”

A sight of relief escaped my lips. Zag wasn’t a liar, and if he was lying, I would be able to tell. “Good.” I continued to play with his hair. His body was a welcome warmth compared to the cold I was used to experiencing most of the time, almost like a blanket. Would that I could stay here all night and day and forever. But I could feel Zag’s heartbeat. It had started going a little faster when I put my arm around him, and right now it was moving as fast as a baby flaming chariot. “Am I making you uncomfortable? I can move if I am.”

“No,” he said, almost before I could finish his sentence. “I’m not uncomfortable. Not in the slightest. I like being here with you. I’m just, I don’t know, nervous I suppose. I really don’t know why talking about feelings is this hard. But I know how I feel right now, and it’s perfect.” _You’re perfect_. The thought came unbidden but wasn’t unwelcome. To me, he was perfect. And talking about it may be more difficult than fighting 20 butterfly balls, but I already knew how I felt about this man. I guess I just had to be a little more patient, is all.

“Zag,” I said.

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember this one time, when we were kids and Achilles was teaching us how to use swords, and you decided to climb up one of the statues in Tartarus to shake down a bat nest with your sword’s hilt?”

He started laughing, more softly than usual. I could hear his tiredness now. “Yes, I remember that time. Achilles was probably too patient with the both of us.” _He still is_. Achilles was probably still at the lounge pass out after spending an hour listening to me. “I remember mostly thinking that I actually didn’t mind you being taller than me for the first time. Because it meant that I could do things like hide from Father when I didn’t want lessons or get on top of statues to rouse a bunch of flesh-eating bats.”

I was laughing too by now. “While you were distracted with that, though, I went off to the side, closer to the River Styx. And for the first time, I saw a butterfly.” Lifting up my free hand, I motioned as though I was beckoning the butterfly to perch on my finger like it was yesterday. “I thought it was strange that it wasn’t actually dead, not yet anyway. It flew up from the water, landed on my finger, and just kinda stayed there.”

“And then what?”

“And then it died.”

Zag laughed again. “What?” I don’t know how to tell this man I would do anything to hear him laugh or see his smile.

“I’m serious, it just kind of fluttered its wings once and then fell over. After that, I assumed that I could just kill anything with a touch of my fingers. Mother found that very amusing.” I was smiling too much now. “Anyway, once I became Death Incarnate, I found a shade in Elysium that knew how to make things like dead insects into pendants or jewelry. So, I had them make that pendant I gave you.” I rested my head on his now. “Good thing you were off fighting bats, or I’d never be able to give you something that could help you now.”

Silence fell between us. For as quiet as I am, I always loved how enthralling Zagreus could be with people. He had a way with people that I could never hope to achieve. And while I didn’t need to be as charming as him to go fetch dead mortals, I sometimes envied his ability to talk his way out of most anything except his father’s anger. But I also liked how he respected my silence. He knew that my silence was just how I was, didn’t cajole me into talking more than I wanted to. And this silence now was something I both enjoyed and needed. I need to be patient with him, that much I knew if not from experience then from Achilles’s advice just a couple hours ago. Zag wasn’t stupid, no matter how many times I thought or felt that way, but he could be very obtuse about a lot of things. My feelings for him were one of those things, at least until recently.

_I can do this. I can wait. I can be patient._

“I like you Than.”

_I take it back, he’s an idiot._

** Zagreus **

The words sort of tumbled out of my mouth before I could really think about it, and I had my exhaustion to blame for that. But then again, now that he was so close, I could smell the nectar coming from Than’s breath. Maybe this is how we talk about our feelings, by beating our inhibitions to death. _That’s one way to do it I suppose._ Drinking a bunch of nectar sounded more enjoyable than escaping the Underworld 31 times in a row, but I was happy to know that Than actually drank the stuff. I knew Olympian customs didn’t sit very well here among Chthonic gods. It was a relief that that didn’t seem to hold up when it came to alcohol. And it meant that my gifts weren’t wasted effort either. I mean, I would’ve been fine just because he accepted them, but it’s always nice to hear when people enjoy the gifts you give them.

“You…like me, Zagreus?” I could hear the confusion in his voice, but it also sounded like he was hopeful. Or maybe I was deluding myself as well.

“I- did you mean what you said, in Elysium earlier?” His words were still echoing in my head. _No you deadbeat! Why do you think I keep showing up?_ Maybe that’s why I messed up so much against the butterfly balls today. It was hard to stay focused and not get scratched by a bunch of small pink butterflies when a man with a face as lovely as Than’s kept interrupting my thoughts. I couldn’t help but wonder now if this entire moment wasn’t me just dreaming in my bed. It had to be a dream, right? A prank by Hypnos, made up while he was in between procrastinating on his many lists?

“Yes Zagreus. I meant it.” Gods I really wanted this to be real and not a dream. This warmth was too good to be otherwise, and I could feel my heart breaking at the thought that this could be just me and my very vivid imagination. “I like you too.”

** Thanatos **

Time passed, and I started wondering if he heard me. His chest moved up and down more slowly than it had when we sat down. I could feel his heartbeat had slowed down as well. Craning my neck to get a better look at his face, I saw his eyes were closed.

_Oh. He’s asleep._ And some sleep sounded like a great idea to me right now too. This bed was comfortable, Zag was warm and very easy on my eyes, and all the nectar I chugged down to prepare for this was starting to catch up to me. Maybe I couldn’t have this moment for eternity, but I could have it for right now.

And hopefully Hermes wouldn’t mind covering for me for a little more than a few hours.


End file.
